It's been years since my last post, life has continued but not in the hard core be the fastest and best athlete sort of way. I'm the normal sort of mom now. Working out is a part of my life, but not in the competition sort of way. I go for 4 mile runs, I leisurely hike with my children, I weight lift as many times a week as I can fit in. Then there's momming. I do it as best as I can or see is beneficial to them.

I'm reaching into my past and realizing the strength that grew in me from my younger years. There's always pain from digging into your past, but from pain you see the growth that made you who you are. I've realized I have compartmentalized certain aspects of my past just to move forward... Finding it difficult to recall memories because it would cause some level of discomfort to me in my current status. Suddenly, I have realized where my strength originates from... The discourse. I was such a young brazen soul that always thought, everything should be right in the world, the way I thought was morally right. Growing up for me was a challenge because I was constantly being presented with that which is not.

Now, looking back, I see that compartmentalizing this aspect of myself is of no benefit to my children. They need to be fully bathed in it. My life is in a part theirs, what good does it do them if they don't know me from where I came. My life and mind are stronger now. I'm happy to reignite my full family and bring them, my children, into the intimate folds of my life. I am better for it. I'm more whole for it. I know my closest people understand my ways. I'm just happy to see that I can reopen myself in my adult life and have my children be apart of it.